Category Archives: humour

Spyfall Unreview

Shining white aliens, a flying shack, an oversized carpet, oh my!   Welcome to the twelfth series of Doctor Who. Buckle up, this will be a heck of a ride.   Disclaimer: I won’t be using huge fonts to denote places. Unless I change my mind.   Part 1   Wakanda, Africa. A female sniper targets a moving truck whilst simultaneously causing viewers to complain that the show is ‘woke’ for having a sniper with a vagina. ‘Snipur‘, incidentally, … Continue reading

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If You, Then I

If you turn into a vampire bat, then I will turn into a clockwork cat, with cogs and springs instead of blood. If you change into a golden plum tree, then I will change into a dumb bumblebee, and I … Continue reading

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Halloween Foxes Poem

Foxes, foxes coming for you, What the hell you gonna do? I’m not worried, they ain’t coming for me; You on the other hand, you’d better flee. How will you feed your poor cat When the foxes are chewing on … Continue reading

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Oxygen Unreview

First episode, misguided sentient puddle. Second episode, misguided robots. Third episode, misguided human with access to huge river serpent. Fourth episode, misguided human with wooden mother. Fifth episode? Misguided humans. Can you see a pattern? I think I should call … Continue reading

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Mutiny on the Bus

Yes, yet another bus blog. This is a conversation that I overheard between a seven-year-old and what, I presume, was his mother. Might easily have been his granny though. “You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet!” “No, I haven’t.” … Continue reading

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Story I Wrote When I Was Ten 1

This is a Sherlock Holmes spoof/parody that I wrote when I was ten years old. Entitled The Adventure of the Brick in a Sock, it is the earliest story that survived the ravages of age, cats and general soiling in … Continue reading

Posted in BekHobbes, fiction, humour, rubbish, SherlockHolmes, shortstory, writing | 2 Comments

Short Story Discovery

I found a cache of short stories that I wrote 25 years ago. I was ten at the time. That awkward period between nine and eleven where existential dreads start roosting in your mind. So I wrote stories to help … Continue reading

Posted in BekHobbes, fantasy, fiction, humour, memories, reallife, rubbish, shortstory, writing | 3 Comments

Pointlessly Rubbish Poem

I met a man the other day, He had no teeth, they’d all flown away. His teeth had escaped to San Jose, Straight outta his mouth to his dismay. “Damn,” he said. He said, “Dag nabbit!” “Them teeth were just … Continue reading

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Red Riding Hood – A Halloween Tale

Once upon a time in a forest far far away there was… What? How far was it? It was pretty far away. You may have a preconceived notion of what is far and what isn’t but this forest was more … Continue reading

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Smother – a poem

The baseball bat you keep under your bed, And the numerous restraining orders don’t matter. Eventually you will be stone dead. And I will have your head on a platter. Yes, I will. Yes, I will. Yes, I will. Who … Continue reading

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