Category Archives: depression

O Green World

Sorrow is my name. Melodramatic as that might seem, it is true enough. I met a girl and lost a girl. No, that isn’t true. I haven’t lost her but I feel that I have. Distance and clusterfaffs being obstacles … Continue reading

Posted in BekHobbes, confused, depression, estranged, existence, hope/despair, loss, love, opinion, reallife, sorrow, suicide | Leave a comment

I, Jackass

For many years I have striven to hide my intelligence. In my experience, people seem to mistrust those that are smarter than them. I should quantify my usage of the word ‘smarter’. It is just the best word that I … Continue reading

Posted in awkwardness, BekHobbes, confused, depression, estranged, existence, hope/despair, humanity, loss, love, memories, opinion, questions, reallife, sorrow, suicide | Leave a comment

Secret Squirrel’s Avoidance (plus random poem)

Someone recognised me the other day. Somebody I went to school with, twentyish years ago. This surprised me because I didn’t recognise him. And because he looked so old. Maybe ten years older than me. Not that I am old. … Continue reading

Posted in avoidance, awkwardness, BekHobbes, confused, depression, estranged, existence, humanity, loss, memories, opinion, poem, poetry, questions, reallife, sorrow | Leave a comment

Unloved and Alone (Not a Hith)

The thing with being unloved is not the fact that it hurts, it is the watching others who are happily in love (or lust). For a while now I have come to the realisation that nobody will love me. Leastways … Continue reading

Posted in BekHobbes, depression, existence, hope/despair, love, opinion, questions, reallife, sorrow, women | Leave a comment

Last Christmas

I really feel that this might be my last Christmas. I hope so. I am just so tired of everything. I am getting too old for this. I will be thirty-five next year and I am still single, still alone … Continue reading

Posted in BekHobbes, christmas, depression, estranged, existence, hope/despair, loss, love, memories, opinion, questions, reallife, sorrow, suicide | 3 Comments

Leper! Unclean!

I am the human equivalent of a wet wipe in that I am often flushed away when people are done with me. Am I being harsh on myself. Perhaps but I think I have just cause to think this. Finding … Continue reading

Posted in asexual, asexuality, BekHobbes, confused, Demisexual, demisexuality, depression, estranged, existence, hope/despair, loss, love, opinion, questions, reallife, sorrow, suicide, women | 1 Comment

Death-Counterfeiting Sleep

I look forward to sleeping. It is like death. Being unconscious is wonderful. It is the nearest I can get to non-existence without throwing myself in front of a train. This is something to be cherished. I can’t wait for … Continue reading

Posted in BekHobbes, depression, existence, opinion, reallife, sorrow, suicide | Leave a comment