Category Archives: loss

I, Jackass

For many years I have striven to hide my intelligence. In my experience, people seem to mistrust those that are smarter than them. I should quantify my usage of the word ‘smarter’. It is just the best word that I … Continue reading

Posted in awkwardness, BekHobbes, confused, depression, estranged, existence, hope/despair, humanity, loss, love, memories, opinion, questions, reallife, sorrow, suicide | Leave a comment

Secret Squirrel’s Avoidance (plus random poem)

Someone recognised me the other day. Somebody I went to school with, twentyish years ago. This surprised me because I didn’t recognise him. And because he looked so old. Maybe ten years older than me. Not that I am old. … Continue reading

Posted in avoidance, awkwardness, BekHobbes, confused, depression, estranged, existence, humanity, loss, memories, opinion, poem, poetry, questions, reallife, sorrow | Leave a comment

Last Christmas

I really feel that this might be my last Christmas. I hope so. I am just so tired of everything. I am getting too old for this. I will be thirty-five next year and I am still single, still alone … Continue reading

Posted in BekHobbes, christmas, depression, estranged, existence, hope/despair, loss, love, memories, opinion, questions, reallife, sorrow, suicide | 3 Comments

Leper! Unclean!

I am the human equivalent of a wet wipe in that I am often flushed away when people are done with me. Am I being harsh on myself. Perhaps but I think I have just cause to think this. Finding … Continue reading

Posted in asexual, asexuality, BekHobbes, confused, Demisexual, demisexuality, depression, estranged, existence, hope/despair, loss, love, opinion, questions, reallife, sorrow, suicide, women | 1 Comment

More Black Than Orange

I wonder what the future holds. Presently I know that my future for the next hour involves sitting next to a girl who smells so much of cheese it is as if the air around her has solidified into stinky … Continue reading

Posted in BekHobbes, confused, depression, loss, opinion, questions, reallife, sorrow, suicide | Leave a comment

M Appeal

Friends with benefits? Lovers? Just friends? Hello, I am a male. Regard my confused mammal face when it comes to relationships. The list isn’t in order of preference by the way. It is the situation I found myself in once. … Continue reading

Posted in BekHobbes, confused, loss, love, memories, opinion, questions, reallife, sorrow, women | Leave a comment

Unlovable Me

I am tired of having my heart broken. Is it too much to ask to find the one person whom I am meant to spend the rest of my life with? Maybe I am unlovable. That has to be the … Continue reading

Posted in asexual, asexuality, BekHobbes, Demisexual, demisexuality, depression, existence, loss, love, opinion, questions, reallife, sorrow | Leave a comment