More Black Than Orange

I wonder what the future holds. Presently I know that my future for the next hour involves sitting next to a girl who smells so much of cheese it is as if the air around her has solidified into stinky Cheddar. Yes, the future is orange.

But cheese girl aside, what does my future hold? I don’t know.

When I think of my future, it is as unfathomable as thinking about what happens after we die. I can’t imagine non-existence although it is something I yearn for. The future is the same. I figure that it is because I don’t think I have a future. Not a future where I am alive.

Is that bleak? Mayhaps it is. But it is also realistic. I have the strongest feeling that things are now coming to the final lap and I might not survive what comes.

It frightens me but nowadays everything frightens me.

I am still alive.

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About greebohobbes

All-round irritant, expert swordsman (loves lopping off the heads of ghouls), professional charlatan and outrageous wearer of black cocktail dresses...
This entry was posted in BekHobbes, confused, depression, loss, opinion, questions, reallife, sorrow, suicide. Bookmark the permalink.

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