I don’t like to be touched.
I can’t say why or when this started but it has been something that I have lived with for twenty or more years since I was 12/13.
When I say I don’t like to be touched, I am being slightly ingenious in how I am describing it. I can be touched by people but only after I have known them for a long time.
In a way, it is related to my sexuality. I have a weird sexuality in that I am demisexual. It is not a big deal, really, although nobody has a clue what I am talking about on the rare occasions that I mention it.
Basically it means that I am asexual but with shagging and kissing. Well, not quite but…what the hell, I will try to explain better…
It means that I have, usually, no sexual attraction to anyone, male, female, animal or mineral. But, and this is a biggish ‘but’, when I have known someone for a long time, I can and do develop feelings of a romantic nature that may/can lead to kissing and The Sex.
You got that? Good.
I have a mantra, or rather something I say whenever someone touches me.
“Don’t touch me.”
It is a Pavlovian response, I guess. And it offends nearly everyone. A lot of people take it personally as if I am implying that there is something wrong with them. So not the case, really really.
I have no idea why people get offended when I tell them that being touched by them is like having ants crawl all over my body. Ha, kidding! But there is a little truth in there.
And for all my jokes, it means that however lonely I am, I am more so because of the lack of human contact.
That is the long and the tall of it.
I am just a broken toy.