Sometimes you dream that you have lost your lover, you have nightmares about it, you toss and turn crying silently to yourself. But then you awake and you realise it is all a dream. And in those first few moments, you smile to yourself knowing that they are right beside you. You reach out for them but their side of the bed is cold and unslept in, and you realise that they are dead, and have been so for years. This is one of the worse things in the world.
Hito ni awan tsuki no naki yo wa
mune hashiribi ni
kokoro yaki ori.
No way to see him
on this moonless night
I lie awake longing, burning
breasts racing fire, heart in flames.
Ono no Komachi