Attack of the Verbal Gerbils

I despise verbal gerbils.

‘Verbal Gerbils’ are a phrase that which I have taken from Neil Gaiman and misappropriated, in the sense of putting to a wrong use, for the usage of this blog. I liked the rhyming juxtaposition of the two words which is why I am using it here. I hope the Gaimanettes can forgive me.

Where was I? Oh, yes…

It is odd how some people seem to relish the sound of their own voice so much. They are almost in love with each and every utterance that pops out of their cakehole.

Some people have lovely voices and should be listened to if only so that you can lose yourself in their mellifluous tones. Some people have normal voices but have valuable things to impact upon us, they too should be listened to. But those who prattle on for no other reason than to fill the silence with their verbal gerbils should be ignored and avoided at all costs.

I do not think it would be an exaggeration to say that these word-vomiters are superfluous to life and culture. They have nothing to say and squillions of words in which to say it.

I support free speech but I do not support free banality. How many times have you been on a train with a person on the phone opposite you talking about new flavours of Pringles, the latest gossip on how Malcolm did nothing about his ingrowing toenails or which cheese is the best for curing shingles? Too many, I’d wager.

The verbal gerbils are robbing us of our time, our sanity and the will to live. But what can be done?

There is a solution though… Walk away, listen to your iPod, sharpen pencils and stick them in your ears, scream obscenities or feign death in the hope that they get the message and buzz off.

Thank you for reading.


About greebohobbes

All-round irritant, expert swordsman (loves lopping off the heads of ghouls), professional charlatan and outrageous wearer of black cocktail dresses...
This entry was posted in BekHobbes, humour, ill-manners, opinion, questions, reallife and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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