Aversion/Depression Ahoy!

I strive to avoid people that I know.

I do not have a problem with what I have done but, being a person who tries to move forward, I just have an aversion for nostalgia.

Although, thinking about it, it is more a case of not wanting to talk to people that once knew me (or thought they knew me). I have always gone out of my way to present different versions of myself to different people in a bid not to reveal anything of myself to others or, if I am being honest, to myself. Although I am making amends for this as you can tell by my blog, I am pulling no punches by revealing my innermost for people to read and enjoy/ridicule.

I tend to make friends quite easily although not through any effort on my part. People seem to gravitate to me despite my personality. I have never made any effort to stay in contact with people unless I am genuinely close to them. Those who I am close to are seldom and few but I treasure them with all of my heart. And these people are the only ones with whom I am brutally honest about myself with, I tell them everything instead of the half-truths and mysterious smiles everyone else gets.

My aversion of ‘friends’ has got to the point where I will walk through alleys and backstreets just to avoid people, crossing the road, missing buses which they are about to get on.

Just last week I avoided an old friend, Egbert McNamara, simply because I didn’t want the awkwardness of meeting. Even though we parted on good terms.

Perhaps the awkwardness of the situation is what puts me off talking to people? Possibly maybe. I don’t really know why I do this. Maybe I am becoming more shy in my dotage (33 and counting) or scared of other people.

Recently in my local library, I met this gangling Whovian (for muggles and other non-geeks, this is a term for fans of the show Doctor Who) with a rather lovely Tom Baker scarf. He saw that I was reading the latest Doctor Who Magazine and he came over. Gangle, gangle, gangle he went with his multi-coloured scarf trailing behind him, and we entered into a conversation. For my part, I was taken aback in much the same way that a vampire might react to a garlic-and-holy-water smoothie.

I think I am striving to avoid people.

I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I think I am withdrawing from the human race. I am not sure where this will end and, I guess, I am scared of what may happen if this continues.This blog is a good route back to normality, away from being a jelly bean and towards being a jemima ho ho.

All things pass.

“This is my story both humble and true
Take it to pieces and mend it with glue”
John Lennon, 1969, Feb.


About greebohobbes

All-round irritant, expert swordsman (loves lopping off the heads of ghouls), professional charlatan and outrageous wearer of black cocktail dresses...
This entry was posted in BekHobbes, depression, reallife, rudeness. Bookmark the permalink.

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