The Lucy Beale Non-Murder

So… Lucy Beale was killed by her half-brother, Bobby Beale. With a music-box.

In the aftermath, the usual pundits were saying how unexpected it all was. How this was a game changer and that the soap would never be the same again.

Which isn’t quite accurate.

First of all, most of the newspapers, betting shops, and other sundry media wotsits had predicted that Bobby did it, and that Jane helped cover it up. Of course, they had other theories as well to who else might have done the dastardly deed but the bookies had Bobby at 3/1, the most obvious suspect despite his callow youth.

A game changer that will change the show forever? This is an interesting thing to say because I am not sure that it will be. Having Bobby as the killer will have much the same effect as having a random stranger kill Lucy. Bobby won’t be arrested, he will be sent to juvenile detention for manslaughter (if, indeed, at all), Jane could be arrested for perverting the course of justice by hiding the body but even if she is, she will be released after a little while, Ian will most likely forgive Jane because, after all, wouldn’t he have done the same thing for Bobby? This is unless Jane takes the rap for Bobby but would she really do that? Now, imagine if a complete stranger had done the murder. It would have created less ripples than Bobby but just like him, it wouldn’t exactly have changed the show forever. Ian would still be sad, Lucy would still be dead etc.

Ironically, if the death had been reported right away, the police would have most likely judged it as being accidental. Bobby would have seen a psychiatrist, Ian would still have been sad but at least he would have closure, and Jane wouldn’t have jeopardised her relationship with Adam…sorry, Ian!

Oh, and Kathy came home. And then went away again.

“Hello, Phil”
“Hello, Kathy”
“I want to come home”
“No”
“OK, bye”

It was that brief. Rather superfluous but in the context of an anniversary show, it was a nice touch. Will Kathy return for good? Now that she has been resurrected from the dead, it is a possibility. This does make it more likely that if someone dies off-screen, they could still return. The Eastenders afterlife now has a revolving door.

What else happened? There was all the guilty looks that the suspects shared for, now we know it was Bobby wot did it, for no reason at all. Unless, everyone in Albert Square has a guilty secret? Denise looked like she was sucking a lemon all night, Kat had a couple of beach balls stuffed down her top, Kim gave birth in the bogs, Dean tried to set fire to the Vic, all of Lauren’s detective work was wrong (except for where the crime happened), Mick got all Ray Winstone on Dean, Nick Cotton’s body was discovered, and…yeah, that was pretty much it.

All in all, not a perfect episode but I enjoyed it. Huzzah!

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About greebohobbes

All-round irritant, expert swordsman (loves lopping off the heads of ghouls), professional charlatan and outrageous wearer of black cocktail dresses...
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